Saturday, December 22, 2007

Bad Santa

The Peanut has issues with Santa. And by "issues," I mean she finds him absolutely terrifying.

It started when I took her to a Christmas craft show a few weeks ago. There was a room set up for making your own gingerbread houses, which I thought she'd really enjoy. But while we were waiting in line, Santa walked by, ringing some jingle bells and belting out "Ho Ho Ho!s." That was the end of the fun for The Peanut. She buried her head in my chest and refused to let go of me. We left without gingerbreading.

The next weekend, JJ wanted to sit on Santa's lap, so we headed for the mall. JJ was thrilled to talk to Santa and gave him a big hug. Meanwhile, The Peanut tried to crawl back into my womb, even though she and I were about 100 feet from the Santa Land display.

And it's not only the mall Santa who's on The Peanut's shit list. "I don't want Santa in my house," she declares.

"But Peanut," JJ protests, "Santa's going to bring us presents!"

"He can leave them outside."

"But what about the cookies? We need to leave cookies out for him!"

"He can eat them outside, too."

I've asked The Peanut what's so scary about Santa. "He has pointy boots," is the only explanation I've gotten. I'll tell you one thing, though: that dude is everywhere. If you're looking for evidence of Santa's ubiquitousness, just check out the claw marks on my neck.

Ho ho ho.


Green said...

JJ looks like he's thinking very carefully, like "Santa's a busy guy, I better only tell him the stuff I *really* want to get..." - Their outfits are adorable.

Please feel free to let the Peanut know I understand where she's coming from - when I was about double her age, I decided that my dad's shoelaces on his sneakers looked "angry" and I was scared of them, and him when he was wearing them.

Smart Peanut you've got to come up with the outdoor alternative for Santa.

School Nurse Jack said...

My DD used to be wary of Santa. I finally got out of her that "Santa has no mouth." (It's hidden by his beard.) DS has yet to be able to explain why he steers clear of the Big Red Guy.

I love that picture of Peanut clinging to you. Someday, she will love it too when you tell her these sweet stories.